Thanks.

The kick in the teeth as in my child being put in foster care? well I have no one to blame but myself for that because if I had taken the time to learn from my therapist and the psychiatrist back in 1989 what DID was and how to take care of it and heal from it my son would not have needed to be placed in foster care in 2001 because I lost it right up to and started to fall over the suicidal edge from DID problems along with depression and so on. I was the one that dropped out of therapy and off my antidepressants and was not learning about triggers and how to use relaxation and gorunding tools and working on remembering those memories that had been separated and stored in my unconscious level so I was acting them out when triggered.

given the one year to take care of everything to DHS standards was definately a kick in the teeth. SKR and I were cramming everything we possibly could into a 24/7 therapy program that included keeping journals and logs and charts and workbooks, art therapy, awareness therapy, stimulating my five senses and emotions with everything possible, relaxation techniques, research and both of us contacting professionals across the USA that specialized in the field of DID, parenting classes, anger management classes depression-anxiety classes. Basically every minute of the day was taken up with some form of therapy. and that includes if I woke up in the night too.

Im a believer in finding the humor and positives in situations I denied my diagnosis for about 12 years and in one year I came out of that denial and crammed well over 10 years of therapy work in and my child was returned to me. Though it only lasted a few months because he came home violent and is now in residential treatment programs but he did come home and he came home to a much healthier parent.and now I continue working thaat same therapy program. Its now habit for me to recognize when I am triggered and use my grounding techniques and relaxation techniques to pull myself back out of that dissociative tunnel of mine. I haven't seen my child in 4 years but I have only gained more stability and awareness since I last saw him. and when I do see him again I know he deserves a parent that can be fully aware, not a parent who is acting out memories and unaware of the time spent with him so I continue on sticking to my therapy program even though I no longer have to.

If my child hadn't landed in foster care I would probably still be denying my diagnosis and floating 95-98% of the time in la la land.

Yea its a bad situation but with every bad situation there is always a positive and the positve is that I am more mentally healthy then I was 5 and a half years ago.