and it started pretty early too, about the same time as your neice. I would take little things - like my mom's lipstick, or a friend's toy.

It didn't make sense to me why I would take seemingly frivolous articles from friends and family (which I would promptly disgard for fear of being caught with the "evidence"). I clearly knew better - even at that young age.

As I grew older, I noticed the only time I committed these acts is when I felt a deep sense of loneliness and rejection - real or imagined (I'm BPD, but didn't know it at the time).

It was a humiliation that I carried inside myself for many years (I never got caught and have never admitted to anyone about this behaviour).

I was able to overcome these minor acts of theft once I realized what was triggering them.

I truly believe your neice is just trying to get more love and attention than she is currently getting, possibly as a result of the focus being more toward the 2 other children with problems.

I could easily see her adopting the same behaviours (or similar behaviours - we are all unique in our reactions) as her older siblings, since their behaviour seems to be getting the response (ie. attention of the parents) she is craving. This is, too, a classic example of children vying for attention from the parents, even if there was no illnesses involved, don't you think?

I think you have a great opportunity here to help a babe in need of love; your sister & husband to ease their load; and most of all, you have a great opportunity to begin a very special, life-long bond with your neice which is good for you, too!

And what to do with a 7 year-old? Well, anything really. Kids are into everything! Find out what she really likes (that is different from what the other children's likes are) and go from there. Doing her own thing with you will give her great encouragement, love and attention, and confidence in being herself.

I just wish I could have been there for my neices/nephews during their hard times and when they didn't have anyone to turn to. We both lost out because I was too afraid to get involved. And I found out later, both my brother and sister would have appreciated my help, but they too, were afraid to ask for help, thinking that it was their responsibility ALONE.

Whatever happened to family helping family? Everyone seems so fragmented and unwilling to ask for help, even from within their own family.

Go for it! Only good comes out of love shown to a child!

AS


PS - I know she's young, but does her parents continue to remind/teach her of the others' illness? The more she understands, the more she will be able to cope with the pressures of dealing with familial mental health issues.