I don't know if this post will be allowed. But during the first visit, my psychologist referred to my ED as 'it' and I quizzed her about why she refers to it as a separate entity from myself. She said it's a disorder that's trying to control me, not me who's doing this to myself. She asked me to read Life Without ED by Jenni Schaeffer to gain a better understanding.

I have read some of the book. I agree and disagree with what I've read so far.
My biggest problem is trying to think of the ED as an 'it' instead of 'me'. It seems irresponsible to shift the blame to an abstract 'it' when I think I'm the one who put myself in this dark place.

As for trying to have a conversation with 'it', I find that ridiculous. I want to recover from this but I don't want to come out feeling crazy as if I have multiple personalities.

I notice many of you here describe your ED impulses as voices in your head. I guess you have managed to detach the ED from YOU. I'm having trouble doing that. I have to recover from my ED. It has affected my marriage!