I find it exciting. Me and my wife have done some bdsm stuff and it spices things up, but you have to be able to trust the person you are doing it with. You are really vulnerable especially when tied up and thing like that. You have to be able to know it can stop anytime by saying a safe word or to have thing slow down if they start getting intense.

I was never sexually abused so I don't know what it is like to relive past trauma. My wife used to be with a bad boyfriend who used to abuse her. He would make her have sex even if she didn't want to. She never went into details but being raped by a boyfriend sounds like it would be pretty traumitizing. Maybe for her reliving that with someone that won't hurt her puts her peace with what happened. Knowing it can stop when she wants it to. I don't know. We don't do bdsm everytime but we have done it on several occasions. Sometime weincorporate certain elements. Anymore she isn't into pain besides some spanking. Pain releases andorphins from what I am told and makes things feel better. I think finding someone you really trust is key. If someone where to tie you up and do thing you didn't want to happen I bet it would feel really bad coupled with guilt and feelings like you deserved for it to happen because you put yourself in that position. I think talking before hand with your partner about all the thing you want and thing you don't want to happen is essential. You have to have limits set in my opinion.