Hi folks. I don't really have anything more to say at this time. I guess I'm just posting here to confirm my decision. I haven't drank anything since I decided not to, but that's not really an accomplishment because it's not like I drank every day before anyway.

I feel sad when I think about quitting drinking, though. Drinking has been my friend for a very long time now. It hasn't always treated me well, but it has also done some really great things for me as well. I was an outcast with no friends until I discovered drugs in high school which changed to drinking in university and beyond.Drugs and later alcohol gave me friends, a sense of belonging to something, a ready-made group of people who accepted me and didn't judge me. As long as I was a drinker, I was their friend. Drinking is responsible for almost every time I have ever had sex with a woman for the first time. It has given me some really weird and wild stories that I wouldn't trade for the world. It's part of who I am.

I don't really know what I want to do. Sometimes I think that I just need to not drink so much, and continuing to drink will be fine as long as I set hard limits on how much I drink. Other times I think I should just completely quit for a while just to prove I can. I guess I kind of wish that I could completely quit for a while, but the first thing seems so much easier.

I guess we'll see what happens.