I think that your therapist at the moment is perhaps not as good as some. How can he make such sweeping judgements on you after meeting your wife for just an hour or so?

I am sorry to read about all your problems. Relate may be the answer (and sorry, its not free, average price is about £40 per session) but if you are able to get a good therapist then it may be worth one last shot if you feel that it may help? Don't be afraid to ask for a new therapist if you want one either - its your dosh after all. Oh, and sometimes Relate have sessions where you both talk alone, which would probably help you be able to talk freely without getting upset or angry if she continues to blame you for everything.

She does need to work on it tho, I agree, but I fear it will be a long time before she admits any fault. Perhaps a therapist could help her see what she's going wrong, and even if you do decide after all that it's not working out, at least you know you gave it your very best before walking away.

Good luck, and I hope you'll find some happiness soon.