I don't think it's irrational at all to need a hug! Physical contact and affection is a basic human need, just like food/water/shelter. You need hugs to live! Even back when I was in high school I learned that for mental healthiness you need to be touched 10 times in a day. Handshakes, pats on the back, hugs, bumps on the arm.... whatever that may be. And the more affectionate the contact the better!

And look at what they learned from the orphan babies in China all those years ago. Even if a baby is clean and well fed, it will die if not cuddled and played with. So, adults are the same way, I think. We are just taught to put up walls and have "personal space" all the time.

It sounds to me like you're starving for contact. I am sorry your friends are not there for you. I know how that goes with friends. They do say animals help, though. Like, patients in nursing homes do better with small pets like a cat or dog to cuddle with them. Or horse therapy, too. I know you love horses. But, not always the best replacement for a human hug.