I know, you have had the same experience with your family member and I respect you for you have been through this kind of craftiness.

I wanted to be bitter. Yes I wished to lash out. I wished to cause the same or greater hurt. I waited, I confessed to others outside the group and to myself what my adgenda was about to be. I got my senses back very angerly and slowly but I got them. I am dizzy and blurry eyed. I am so close and yet so so far to lashing out at the others.

Just that I am beautiful. I am spectacular. I am lovely. I am good through and through. Yea, I am sometimes a crappy woman but generally I am "Neat" So there. I know I am "Neat" That is ALL that I hear in my head. I hear it loudly.

Also, I enjoyed his company and to prove it I am going to be a woman, and real women act female. I could go slap people around ( I know how and CAN) But I am tired of being a defeating fighting %#@&#!.

I want to smell good, feel good and not keep getting garbage put on my plate. The bad Karma I put out will come back sooner or later irreguardless of who "Started IT FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need a breath. I vented. I am your friend SeptemberMorn and I was with you when you were going through IT. So thank you. I am thankful because I wasn't the ONLY ONE it happened to.