Desperate for closure; feeling hopeless. Bullet point narrative to follow:

-I'm the other woman (also married myself)
-No sex involved, but came close a few times
-I tried to pull away gradually before Christmas
-He broke it off completely (saying he needed to be able to tell his wife she's the only person in his life and that if he sees me, he wants me)
-After Christmas break, he begged me to take one of his classes
-I thought about it, but chose not to
-He was upset, but then tried to get me to commit to being friends again
-I was hesitant, thinking that he would break that bond too, but finally agreed to coffee
-I still wasn't sure and I felt extremely hurt and confused, so I went back and forth on the friendship thing, but always came around after he worked his charm; I said I didn't want to do anything else to hurt his wife
-One day, though, I said I really needed space; he sent me a sweet friendship promise message for whenever I was ready to try
-I called to ask him a question and sometime during the call, things went very wrong: He started asking about my sex life at home and accusing me of being a pathological liar. He was screaming at me and calling me a liar, accusing me of embellishing.
-I hung up on him, but he called me back: I was sobbing uncontrollably, and the phone went dead
-The next day (after a few confusing/accusatory/yet friendship bidding emails), I stopped by his office. He said he wanted to kiss me somewhere and did. On my ear. He then put his hand down my back, and whispered that this is why he can't be alone with me in a private space
-The next day he asked me to stop by his office. He had the blinds pulled. He was very physically aggressive, ordering me to touch him, to kiss him (down there), and saying let's f and get it over with. I said no. I asked if he loved me. He said "love ain't got nothing to do with it. I don't even like you. This is chemical." I'm ashamed to say I did the other things he asked me to do, but not to completion. Later he said he loved me again.
-The next few days, he told me things about his home life, that he had been impotent at home, that he thought it would be more beautiful with me, that his wife is beautiful but that I'm sexy
-I told him that I only wanted to be friends; he got on his knees and said that he would do his very best to build a secure bond for us, but that he was powerfully drawn to me; he said I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever known.
-He sent two emails later: one saying that he wasn't talking about a hierarchy of beauty and that if he was I would win, and the other saying that he knows he puts too much pressure on me, but that it's because he trusts me and loves me madly
-Going crazy with contradictions, I sent a cutting ties email
-He sent a "Last Word" poem the next day
-After three days, I missed him and sent an email asking if we could be friends
-He agreed and asked me to call. When I called, he told me that he asked his wife about the possibility of my keeping their kids when he goes to Boston in March (he supposedly told her about a brief kissing session between us back in October), and that she said she wasn't ready for that yet, but she seemed calm. However, he said that later she called him during class drunk insisting that he come home. She was raging and said there were things she could only say when drunk.
-I asked if he thought we should postpone our friendship. He said he could go either way on that, but that we should plan to meet for coffee that week.
-The coffee meeting went well
-He left for Kentucky that weekend and sent me an email upon returning, saying that his wife was raging and that she had told a friend about our "affair"; he said we needed to "lay low"
-He then sent another message saying that she tried to access his email and was accusing us of still having an "affair"
-I don't know if he ever told his wife at all. Seems like this behavior would have happened back in October instead of now
-I'm reeling because he begged me back into his life, I finally got to a place where I could accept the friendship, and now he's adopted an impenetrable way to kick me out of it that may or may not be true
-Though I was ready to pull away over the Christmas break and was starting to heal, now I feel horrible about my behavior, I feel cut off from closure, and I'm completely obsessed, to the point that I almost stopped by his house
-He's seeing someone else; I'm almost certain of it
-I feel guilty, out of control, and sometimes (unjustifiably) suicidal
-I don't understand what's happening to me

Objective Advice?
Sally Met Harry