Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
For me, the most important aspect to being authentic includes (but is not limited to) being honest with people about my real feelings.
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But what if it feels better NOT to express honest feelings? Could a decision to NOT share also be considered authentic? For example if sharing feelings could cause hurt to someone, maybe it's more in line with the authentic self NOT to share?
Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
two cents
authenticity can be...
being (or at least truly striving to be) a person who does the right thing because you know it's the right thing, even if it's not what you want, or what will benefit you.
So that at the end of your life, no remorse. You may regret you didn't have power, or travel much, or make the news, or whatever; but you won't have to look back on a life of selfishness or worse.
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hmmmm, but WHAT is selfishness? Isn't everything we do meant to make us feel better? Maybe sacrifices that convinces us that we're NOT selfish are indeed selfish because THAT'S how we can feel good about ourselves? And could we also not end our lives with regret that we didn't live to our full potential - potential to live a life more in line with our true selves? [but then again, I'm still trying to understand what that means - 'true' self.]
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon
. All my life, I've tried to be what others want me to be, to project the image I think others want to see, to say what I think others want to hear. Regardless of the cost to myself. I understand what you mean. When I began therapy it was a revelation to me to learn that it's ok for ME to have needs and that it's ok for ME to try to satisfy those needs. Previously my happiness revolved around making sure everyone else is happy. Still struggling with that...
So, for me, I think authenticity is less about doing what feels good and more about what feels right and true and honest for yourself. But doesn't what 'feels right' also 'feel good'?
It's not really about being selfish and doing what ever you want or what makes you feel good. It's more about allowing your true self to shine through in whatever way it needs to.
Being authentic is so hard, especially when you've been conditioned to wear masks and be what others think you should be. I think it's worth it in the long run, though. The few times I've taken the risk, it's felt so much more right to me.
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I think sometimes that we can begin to believe that the masks ARE us and it's so dang hard to remove them and uncover what lies beneath