I cut because im mad at myself...sometimes other people but mostly at myself. I get so mad at myself because of all the wrong choices i have made...i know that if i didnt make some of the wrong turns, my life would be totally different. But lately I just cant stand living. I feel so dead, but im still here, its like torture for me. I either want to be dead or alive, not feel dead but be alive. And right now death is alot closer than life. So when i cut, it kind of reminds me that i am still here, but i dont want to be here...so cutting doesnt really help for me in the end, just for the moment. Whenever i have flashbacks...which has been alot lately...i cut alot. I feel like cutting all the time, even when i am cutting i feel like cutting deeper. So sometimes i dont have a reason. And im so sick of hiding up all the slices and cuts so no one sees.