No, I don't know who I am. Or even who I want to be.

But I do have flashes and glimpses of the "real" me, of who I was/what I could have been before it became necessary to bury it in order to survive. I believe that she's still in there, because when I'm in a crisis and those walls start cracking, I hear her again.

I don't know if I can let myself be that person. But I'm pretty sure (sometimes) that I don't want the defenses to define me for the rest of my life. I don't want to always look to other people to tell me who to be.