I don't know who I am. The only consistent thing about me is my BPD traits and I do suspect that I keep up my patterns because it is almost like an identity, even though it's one I don't want. I even suspect that when I have (lately) had really good days, I succumb to an identity crisis of sorts and I wonder if that is what throws me back into the hole I'm used to.

As to changing to the 'normal' side - I can do it around particular people. They tend to be non-judgemental, accepting and basically kind people who I view as equals and/or having some human frailties as well. They also do not indulge negative talk for too long. They seem to know (with me) when to switch to another topic and they do it tactfully. I think part of the battle is to simply choose friends who are good for us (as opposed to the opposite). Also to get away from being judgemental ourselves. As Rodney Dangerfield once said in one of his movies "I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member". Kinda like shooting yourself in the foot.