I feel empty and confused. Like the solution, the answer to the question I don't know, is lost within my mind but I can't find it through this dense fog. Like it's constantly on the tip of my tongue and I can always almost get it, but never do.
I find myself struggling to stay aware, like my thoughts keep vanishing and I just go blank. Sometimes I just disappear and little voices talk to me through what seems to be a well, than I realise they're just my thoughts. I always feel like crying but I never can. It's as if my mind has turned to mush and nothing makes sense anymore, it just is.
I always feel like something is about to happen but it never does. I'm about to cry, I'm about to snap and kill someone, myself, laugh maniacally, hallucinate, dissociate and just go mental. And I wait for it so that I can be free of this dull and empty pain, than the tension will be released. It never does and I only ever feel irritable, depressed,empty and afraid, sometimes just this sharp agony. I'm just waiting for it.