It's taken me a long time to really nail down what I like in a t, and just recently I wrote a reflection on it, to present to new potential ts.
Qualities that are important are patience, curiosity, possibly the use of supportive physical touch (if they can even imagine doing that!), creativity, flexibility, understanding that I don't change quickly but at my own pace, a willingness to work with the fact that I'm blind. Also an understanding that on the surface I may seem very put together but uunderneath are real struggles and it might take time for trust/ a relationship to develop.
I may be in the minority, but I think nurturing and even love are important. My t from MA has both qualities in abundance and it's so healing to me and I don't think a bit harmful. I like someone who can be moved by my struggles, as in don't keep logically problem solving while I'm falling apart crying! (someone did this recently and I'm still shocked and hurt). I'm someone who doesn't do direct challenging well, so if they can figure out a way to gently say constructive feedback good luck! (smile) My t from MA did figure out how to do this, so I guess it can be done.
I like approaches that see the importance of one's past experiences and how that has shaped them, and sees the person in the context of other systems in their lives. I like the therapist having many tools, and being able to adapt to each client. I particularly like the expressive arts, art, dance, drama, music therapy sandtray, VMT. These help people see issues and feelings through a different lense and are refreshing especially when you're used to just talking all the time.
So yeah, all that to say that I finally figured out what works for me! Now I just hope I can find someone who resonates with these qualities.