I dunno, this part is sticking out to me tho... "*I'm sure you also say that its terrible to live constantly not being shown love but I say that's often because you don't see it your way." Doesn't that seem to be the same thing you are complaining about her doing to you? Her feelings on that issue doesn't count or is wrong, she is not entitled to feel that way because it's just in her head kinda vibe.

If you really want this to work you also have to take some responsability for some things you do too. I know you feel like she has put all the blame on you, and maybe she has. But doing the same back isn't going to get this solved either. You both have issues that sound important and worthy of looking at honestly together. I know you need to not take all the blame and stick up for yourself. But don't go so far the other way where you match what you feel she is doing wrong.

What I am getting reading this is that you only need to work on sticking up for yourself and nothing more. You talk about what her appropriate response should be to your feelings ( care and work with you on it), but the letter sounds like you are not willing to do the same with her feelings ( it's her own problem she feels like you dont sgow affection, suck it up). I dunno that is my take on the letter, not trying to be critical just trying to help. I know you didn't say suck it up, but it seems implied that you don't care about that and it is not your concern.