Hey my friend ~ I say KUDOS to you. From what I can tell, you've put up with this crap for a lot of years. From the sound of it, she's been beating you over the head with your own emotions, as if you're not entitled to them, yet SHE IS. So you're supposed to "cater" to her and make things all hunky-dory for her? I don't think so! I think she's used and abused you long enough.

I'm glad the therapist is pretty much on your side and can see that your wife has been manipulating you for years. Trouble is your WIFE can't see it. So where do you go from here? You certainly can't live like this.

I hope the therapist can get thru to her -- she needs INDIVIDUAL counseling. I think you're pretty darn sane enough. And from what I can tell, you've been more than willing to work things out for years. It's HER turn now.

I don't know what to tell you my friend. But I sure would NOT live like this for another how-ever-many years you've been married. You've wasted enough time, and you're too nice a guy to waste any more. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee