Hi Illegal -- Jadzea is SO right. I too was pretty disappointed in life when I was your age. I was becoming disabled. By that I mean, my spine was at the time becoming "unreliable" and I had frequent pain. The future didn't look bright cause I had a degenerative disease.

I was working at a dead end job, and was married to an abusive man. My kids were close to grown, and had their own lives pretty much. I was very unhappy.

Fast forward, I'm now totally disabled, my kids are all grown, I'm divorced and got remarried -- he died shortly after we married. I have pain 24/7 -- but you know what? Being older ROCKS. Things make SENSE now. I don't seem to obsess about stuff like I used to. I DON'T CARE what people think about me anymore. If family doesn't want me in their life, I DON'T CARE. When you get older, you seem to "calm down" -- and at least for me and several others I know who had the same troubles as I do, the mind seems to accept things better and it too calms down. So getting older isn't all that bad -- except the body itself tends to ache in places I didn't know I had.

So hang in there my friend. Things DO GET BETTER. God bless and please take care of yourself, okay? You're not alone. Hugs, Lee