I've been reading the police reports from a Milwaukee newspaper online. Here are a few, with my personal comments:

About $90 in toilet paper was reported stolen May 12 from bathrooms at Haggerty Engineering and Business Administration.

I think that somebody took a heavy dose of Ex-Lax

A 19-year-old female student was arrested May 14 on allegations of assault after she reportedly slapped another student at Sandburg Hall. The suspect was angry because the victim kept leaving eating disorder pamphlets in her room believing she was bulimic. The suspect denied having an eating disorder.

Sad. Is that how people should react when someone cares about them? True or not, the person is caring and concerned.

Two 20-year-old male students were arrested May 11 on allegations of vandalism after they reportedly threw hard cooked eggs at a door, causing minor damage at Sandburg Hall East Tower. The men reportedly didn't mind being arrested, saying they had only two more weeks at school and didn't care.

At least the eggs were cooked? That's right, guys, who cares about being arrested with only two weeks of school left. Now you can go out and try to get a job with a criminal record.

Cash and condoms were stolen from the bedroom of a home in the 2000 block of S. 87th St. on May 10, after a suspect entered the home through a kitchen window.

Cash and condoms. I won't even think what the suspect could have intended.

Child Protective Services is investigating a report of first-degree sexual assault of a child. Franklin police were alerted to the situation about 9 a.m. May 13, when they were told a 6-year-old boy had inappropriate sexual contact with a 4-year-old girl at an in-home child care facility in Franklin. The facility is not being named to protect the identity of the children involved.

What is this world coming to?! A 6-year-old boy accused of sexually assaulting a 4-year-old girl. Do most children that age have any clue what sex or inappropriate sexual contact is?