I am. I wish I can resolve it. I sliped today. I did. I have to tell on myself.

I have been making food choices that are much better lately this month, though. Once I start on a good diet and if I am less stressed or if I pretend to be less, I psych myself enough to do really great.

I have eaten regular two small but very normal meals (meat and veggies and postatoes) at dinner for the last 6 weeks. I am amazed that I did not over consume. I really concentrated each bite and I concentrated on not eating when I was in a rotten mood. I actually went a day or so with out much eating, but that's ok because I picked up where I left off. I began to eat the two small meals all over again. I slept with the little pillow under my tummy to take away that "Awful Bloated Rotten Ugly" feely we with eating disorders love noticing "No matter what- I am not kidding- we would notice the small paunch even if we ate two bannanas and a small bowl of cereal. We would get irratated if we ate the whole "Hersheys Huge candy bar meant for Family size." Actually I have purged just because of this kind of stupid bloated feeling. Man anyway. Now I am sleeping with the teddybear under my tummy every time and boy does it work.

I want each and every one to please please try this. I don't care if you weight 80 pounds or 200 pounds, please take my word for it and give me your comments on sleeping with the little pillow or teddybear right under your belly. Actually if you just get or feel like you are bloating even if you aren't tired, just lay down on your tummy with the small pillow or stuffed animal right under there.

I even stopped purging and started to do a better portion sizing when I started this simple thing. Please let me know. Are you sick of purging and puking as much as I seriously am sick of it??????? I just hate it and my obsession of size, obsession of bloating- which by far is far worse an obsession than how much I am on the scale, or even how I look at myself in the reflection of any mirror, my obsession with my beauty and my obsession with putting myself down; I am sick of being this way and like comming to this group as much as you do because they care about me enough to care and that is all that matters to me at this moment. I am sick of being sick and sick of it to the point of trying this group one more time tommorw.
Will you try for me too????? Please? Listen, we are good, we can try it a little Please Please.......thankyou