Quote:
Originally Posted by hungryghost
Some links/quotes that I strongly relate to and that are relevant to this post/my journey:
http://www.therapist-training.com.au...ellogyoung.pdf
"Despite the reputation that patients who have BPD have for dramatic displays of “acting out” behavior and high levels of emotional intensity, most of the time, they are typically functioning in what is called the detached protector mode, in which the patient adopts a “style of emotional withdrawal, disconnection, isolation, and behavioral avoidance” (Young et al., 2003, p. 275).
In the detached protector mode, patients may feel numb or empty. They may adopt a cynical or aloof stance to avoid investing emotionally in people or activities. Behavioral examples include social withdrawal, excessive self-reliance, addictive self-soothing, fantasizing, compulsive distraction, and stimulation seeking (p. 275).
Another complication here is that although the detached protector mode has helped
patients survive, it interferes with psychotherapeutic progress and keeps the abandoned
and abused child blocked off from a therapeutic connection."
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I appreciate you pointing this out, because I've never heard of detached protector mode before, but it definitely sounds a lot like me.. For awhile I thought I was developing schizoid traits although my therapist assured me that is not the case. I don't hate people, but I wouldn't say that I like them either. It's more.. I tolerate them, and that's about the extent of it. I have a lot of animosity in me, and it's not towards people, and I'm not even sure it's towards me (I'd have to think about this). It would definitely be towards the effects of bpd on me and others. In my detached state I'm protected from others and they are protected from me. It's not a great way to live, but it's better than the alternative. At least for now.
Thanks again!!