Is it kind of an outward expression of the inner pain? That is kind of what it used to be for me... I know it probably doesn't seem this way to you... But you are still young. You have so much of your life ahead of you. So much of your life... I'm not sure how many of the choices you have made already will impact negatively on your life in 2 or 5 or 10 years time... i don't know.

Is there anybody you can talk to? A councellor or something? Because it sounds like you give yourself a hard time and are worried about some of the decisions you have made... A therapist could help you figure out where you want to go in life so you can make the decisions to help you get there. A therapist could help you deal with the inner pain... So you don't have to cut anymore. Cutting will leave scars. You will probably regret those scars one day. Sometimes cutting can become... One of those decisions that we regret later. Another thing to feel bad about and then you can be on a circle of feeling bad -> cutting -> feeling worse -> cutting -> feeling worse etc. It can be hard to see how to get off that cycle by yourself. Sounds like it could help to talk about some of those flashbacks and stuff too... I'm sorry you are having such a hard time of it.