It is a skill that does not come easily or naturally and one that has to be practiced.
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Originally Posted by TheRealFDeal
[/I]Cboxpalace, after I wrote the letter and was brushing my teeth before going to bed, it struck me that he could well not respond, and I did have a little talk with myself, trying to lower, if not eliminate, the expectation that he would call. I did not come up with a coping plan; admittedly I've got a severe deficit in coping skills.
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You have part of the equation.. AWARENESS.. That is the hardest part to develop or spot. It's at this point, you need to start thinking about coping strategies. .Take a look at
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/accepts.html For ideas...
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I decided I had to deliver the letter anyway and figure it out later.
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You have this right...
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I do not know what I will do/how to cope if none of the three therapists I see this week don't turn out well. I just got home from the first one, and while she was very kind and compassionate, she thought, as I do, that I need someone who will return a phone call in between sessions. Not that I will call, because my trust is at zero right now, but I need that option to be available. Anyway, she's not that person, but she kindly made an offer to make a few calls on my behalf to find one that would be available in between and I took her up on it. I'm disappointed, and a little discouraged, but I'm OK for the moment. I feel kind of empty.
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See above link..
It takes practice to achieve this. The objective is to have a plan in place so you'll be able to tolerate the moment and prevent a crisis..