I know I post sporadically on here...it seems that if I'm having a hard time, I don't have the energy to post anything. So I probably don't really deserve anyone to spend time listening to me. But I'm still having a hard time, I just have no-one to talk to this time.

Because usually it's my T who listens and talks to me. But yesterday afternoon, I got a call from T's office saying that she wouldn't be able to come in today. So my appointment for this afternoon was rescheduled but that appointment is not for another week. And because appointments are booked one at a time, she's already mostly full for next week. Which means that my next appointment might not be for two weeks after this next one. Which is hard, considering I see her each week usually.

Which really sucks in and of itself. It's only the second appointment she's cancelled in the years of working together. What makes this time awful is that I only have a few more weeks with her before she's gone for a while. I may be able to go back and see her later on, but that's only a possibility and even if it does happen, it could be months away.

So I can't help but feel that this is just awful timing. When I only have a few weeks left with her, and I'm now not even going to be able to see her every week until she's gone. When she's busy, I usually can't anyway. But all those other times, there isn't a deadline hanging over my head.

But obviously, I can't talk to her about this. At least not yet. I'm allowed to email her, but I'm not going to email her until I see her again next week. She obviously didn't come in for whatever reason and I'm not going to add to whatever problem it is by being upset about this to her. She insists she isn't a mind reader, but she can often predict what I'm struggling to say to her and she knows exactly how I feel about her leaving. So no doubt she probably already knows how awful this has left me feeling.

I'm not even sure what I'm hoping to achieve with this. I just need to get it out somewhere now because the next week is going to be awfully long and lonely. Thanks for reading all this if you made here to the end of this