Sezzie i dont really have many words to encourage you right now but i did want to let you know that i know what that feels like and it will get better in time. i know this because i can see your strength in your words. keep doing what you can and you will get to where you want to be in time.

i hope you have some support offline for what you re going through. my thoughts are with you.
((((((((safe hugs))))))))))
biiv