There's this guy at church in his late 60's. Married for 50 yrs. Harmless, but he occasionally says inappropriate things. Like he used to say "Gawd I love redheads" to me all the time.

At church Sunday, my mom hugged him. Ick. And he said, "if I had a girlfriend it would be you". Now my mom is going on and on and on about how he is coming onto her, and how all men come on to her and want to sleep with her. Ick Ick. She's 84 and wrinkly. Walks with a can. She's being super dramatic about it, like it's a huge big big deal. I just want to punch her. Really, chill mom, chill. No one wants to sleep with you.