Something you said earlier in this quote also struck me. It seems to me that it could be a very deep and profound thing to see who you are in therapy without trying to get your T to like you. Sounds like a place to begin being authentic, which has the likelihood of being able to put you on the road to somewhere good.

But the "paint by numbers" and a couple of other things suggest that you feel that your T is being formulaic with you, or that she's going through the motions, which translates to me that you don't feel that she listens deeply or responds to you the person as opposed to you the client. Maybe you feel this way because of your own internal reactions about not feeling special and the interpretations you are making about her behavior. But maybe it is because this T relationship isn't what you're looking for or what you need. I don't think it would be a bad idea to have a consultation with another T to consider the possibility that maybe you need to switch.