My T often thanks me for sharing hard things with her and acknowledges that she knows it was a risk and it was hard for me. I don't find it condescending...I usually get a little self-conscious and a little embarrassed, but it feels very validating to know that my T gets how hard it was for me to take that risk.

Just a couple of thoughts after reading your posts - It seems like you equate not being special with T not really caring about you at all, and that isn't what she said. Maybe she really is cold, and a blank slate, and distant. If that's true, and she really is that way, then maybe you need a T that is more in to building a relationship with you and is more warm and interactive. But, maybe that's the way you've decided to label T since you know that she doesn't consider you special anymore. Is it possible that since you've decided that she doesn't really care because you're not special, that you've labeled her as cold and uncaring?

If you've been continually changing who you present to your therapist in an attempt to get her to care, then maybe this would be a good opportunity to stop that and just be authentic.

I also think you might want to talk some more about your need to feel special to T. Maybe explore WHY you have this need, and how you can fill that need yourself rather than relying on external sources.