Quote:
Originally Posted by adam_k
Maybe it takes time to heal. When my wife told me she was raped by her ex bf I was angry with her ex. I don't know the guy and I can't do anything to change the past. I wasn't angry with her, just angry that someone could hurt someone I care about so much. Then I felt sad about her pain and what she went thru. I just try to be there for her. I don't bring it up, but I'm there if she wants to talk about it. I think after a while she came to terms with what happened and now she is happy she is with someone who cares for her.
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I know it definitely takes time, and in my fiance's case I think probably therapy. I know it wasn't just this issue with me but also his own history of physical and sexual abuse. For a while he blamed me and we had these horrible fights that ended up getting abusive on both sides. I got help and I no longer do things like that and for the most part neither does he. He's also acknowledged that he blamed me for it and apologized. I know he doesn't anymore and he's trying to be supportive of me now. It's still something that's hard for us to talk about. He's mentioned seeking therapy about it and I'm encouraging him to do so. He's got a lot to work through still.