I think I can fully recover, I think I am doing it

However I still have depth of feeling, I don't need to dip to the lowest depths and crazy highs to have depth of feeling. I havent lost my creativity, or my ability to think abstractly and make great connections. The experiences I have had will never leave me, even if I never have another manic or depressive episode again. You don't need to spend your whole life in one extreme or the next to retain the clarity or knowledge you gained from it. I used to think that the way I think and the abilitity to think the way bipolars can was directly and only because of the extreme moods, now I am not so sure. That has not changed yet, maybe there is more to it. I can hand in my extreme moods but not my pearls?

I also don't think that in absense of symptoms you loose your being. I'm not going to become someone else or have to live a dull boring life if I stay free of those symptoms. That is also a choice we get to make I think. India has always been one place I really want to spend some time ( There were a few places that fascinated me while studying the world and India was at the top) I have three kids, but thats not so boring. I don't own a car, house, or any debt for that matter, and I can't see any reason not to follow my heart.

Now I have to figure out what I really want to do, I have a few options that are pulling me. The one that seems most unreachable might be something to consider. It must seem most out of reach for a reason. Maybe I want it more?