No I don't, that's what makes me question if there's even anything there or if this is just some bad wiring in my brain or something. The whole issue started a couple years ago after I was raped in college (along with some other traumatic experiences). I ended up barely able to sleep for a month (I didn't even drink coffee or anything), having panic attacks, dissociative problems and self injuring again. During that time I started to have vivid flashbacks of my childhood- not necessarily bad stuff, just a mixed bag, mostly mundane. I hadn't even realized that I didn't remember my childhood till the memories came back. I do remember thinking to myself around my teens that my childhood self was not me and I had no connection with her and then I just forgot everything till that period in college. Eventually I started sleeping again and got therapy and I don't get new flashbacks very often anymore. But again I got nothing conclusive. Pretty much all I know is that I've always had trouble with sex in my adult life (I dissociate a lot) and I have a few memories that make me feel like stuff in my life just doesn't add up. I know I had age inappropriate sexual knowledge, I had sexual encounters with friends starting when I was 5, I had vaginal infections a lot and that's about it. I'm an only child and I tried talking to my mom about it. She said the only abnormal thing about me as a kid was that I wasn't very social. She said no one in my family would abuse me and specifically said she never left me alone with my grandpa (even though I know for a fact that she did). I also have some other fuzzy memories that I can't make sense of (when I had the flashbacks the perspective was off if that makes sense and I couldn't tell what was going on) but I get bad gut feelings when I experience and/or think of them. I've told my therapist and my fiance about all this and they think there might have been sexual abuse involved. I really have no idea if it's that or if my brain is playing tricks on me. I had another friend tell me I was just searching for tragedy in my past because that's what I wanted. I think she was insensitive but I wonder if she's right and it's all in my head.