Unfortunately, for me, the butterfly feeling in my stomach is nausea.....too sick to eat much of anything anymore. I have a whole list of people I have (not should) to contact & so many things to do to make anything it the future happen. But being curled up under my soft warm blanket safely hiding my my room is all I can get myself to do right now.

I force myself out only when I absolutely have to & let my phone answer all my calls to ensure my feeling safe. I am forcing myself out tomorrow because they want to film my meeting with our real estate agent & want to know a little about why I chose them. Not wanting to say too much or too little but basically afraid to even open my mouth. I know it will go ok if I take enough tranquilizers & nausea medication. It's a good thing they have meds for everything. The trick is taking enough to be calm, & not taking too much to sound out of it. It is situations like this when I feel like I am watching some one else & it isn't really me that is there talking. I hear it all & watch it all, but it isn't really me there talking.

When I was passing through the channels on the TV the other day, I came across the local channel & a lady who specialized in handling fraud & actually has put together an association called gotfraud. I called & left a message & she returned my call leaving a voicemail. I have been trying to get up enough nerve to call her back because she wants to know about what I went through. I know this will be a great way to get what I went through out to the public, but I'm not sure if I can force myself to talk about it right now. Being curled up under my covers is about all I am able to do right now. I haven't even been able to do any packing.

I agree with everything you have said Tomi.....it is exactly what I tell myself.....but doing seems to me much different than hearing. Maybe a baseball bat might be the answer.

Debbie