I am not malingering and trying to get free parks and no I'm trying to get free store items. I'm trying to make friends, but I can only do what I have been taught to do.
I don't lie to hurt people, I'm not so apathetic that I'm some abusive narcissist. I just don't want to be me, and so I lie and be someone else. But it never works because I see it hurts people and that's the last thing I want, so I stop. I can't be me but I can't be a lie, so I hide where no one can see me.
Yes I feel entitled, like I deserve a trophy, like I'm special. And I hate myself so much for it that the sight of my reflection sickens me. I hate what I am, so I came here because maybe there'd be enough love to get me through it all.