Awkward and painful situation that

You know if I were in your place and had a T say that to me I think it would put me in a very bad place and I'd be asking myself seriously just how attuned and understanding T really is.

It is possible as Rhi has said, that after some discussion T could accept being wrong. Or equally that you come around to seeing yourself as she does, if that's your approach.

I'm not a big fan of adopting someone else's negative view of me though, had enough of being the bad object and can do it perfectly adequately on my own without anyone else jumping in with criticisms and judgements to add to the extant pile already in my head. I don't think being upfront and 'honest' about another person's perceived failings and negative characteristics is much help on any level, there are better and more effective ways of leading someone to discover 'home truths' about themselves than rubbing their face in them.

So the obvious advice here is (natch!) to go in and talk about how it's made you feel and what you think and put your perspective forward and try and work out what motivated T to say it - I can't tell from your post whether you're particularly upset about this situation or whether you've lost any trust in T as a result, but I'm guessing you're not exactly ecstatic about any of it. Always worth talking about it, endlessly if necesssary, before making any decisions, for sure.

I hope you get through this impasse, and soon .

Torn