Lifetime battle with major depression; currently down, due to having quit smoking (a known reaction as it turns out). Recently came to light that there is PTSD in the mix.

Multiple family members & close friends committed suicide. Began at age 12 with my oldest brother (22). His wife shortly afterward. My Dad (49) when I was 16. Another brother (21) when I was 19. None had any psych eval so it's only speculation about their mental illnesses; my 2nd brother heard voices & likely had schizophrenia.

Have mostly isolated my whole life so never had a lot of friends, but a few very close ones. All the deeper impact when two of them blew their brains out a couple years apart (they didn't know each other). Never have learned WHY about either of those, not that it matters.

All this has made me wonder why I have been exposed to so many suicides. Anyone I've ever told has been blown away, most haven't a clue how to deal, what to say, etc., so they say nothing. I understand that a bit better now.

Additional losses have been my Mom to Alzheimers and my younger brother to HIV/AIDS. I have two surviving sibs, older sisters, one I live with. She has major depression, and the other has terminal cancer. We support each other as best we can, mostly via daily emails.

My "official" diagnosis is Bipolar II with major depression & GAD. Just wondering if anyone else with PTSD has had loss from suicide. I might be better off posting in a suicide survivor forum but somehow I wound up here so I'm just going with it, and the vibe here is helpful and friendly. Peace... Alex