i stopped sleeping long ago... at least not mentally sleeping,

my brain would never turn off

november 13th marks one year since the last of it

shouldnt i be able to sleep now?
whenever i lay on the bed and look up
i see the ceiling
the same ceiling i stared at years ago, the ceiling i used to escape what was happening on that bed.

i made my mom get me a new bed
but its not the bed
its my mind that wont let me sleep
and i cant get a new one of those

with school starting...
i cant function.. i cant pay attention.. i cant talk i cant format thought.

i wish i still had my therapist..