I went to the meeting today; glad I went. I did not feel like sharing, but I did. Ani prodded me to, but I could have said no I won't. But I shared.

Afterward, they dogged me out again; shut me out again.

I know because I tried to say bye as I was leaving; I waved; surely they could see me and they ignored me.

I started to feel very very hurt again.

I have a plan: so that I won't have to go thru this (I had addressed this issue before and I will not run it into the ground) I plan to leave the meeting right before the closing statement and prayer. This way I won't have to feel left out when they shmooze afterward. I h ave tried to thank ppl for sharing and chat but they really do not seem to want me around and I have not done anything to them.

I still like the meeting; I get a lot out of it, relate a lot to the people. But if they will not accept me as part of the group, I will not act like I am.

I am glad to be home tonight.

I hope we have the apt for March. Bruce still has not found work.

Carol