I'm sorry that you didn't get the support and physical comfort that you needed when you were upset. I think, as humans, we DO have a genuine need for touch in our lives, and it can be very healing to use touch in therapy. I don't think that offering a client touch is allowing them to use it as a "crutch," nor do I think it discourages clients from using their own coping skills. In fact, I think touch can strengthen the intimacy between T and client, allowing the client to be more vulnerable and more open in what they share with the therapist. It also makes the client feel more heard and accepted, which can increase the client's self-esteem and self-concept.

In my own therapy, I hug my T at the end of every session and, once, when I was very upset, T sat next to me on the couch, put her hand on my knee, rubbed my back, etc. Her stance is that, because I did not receive any touch growing up and was never comforted as a child, and that has had a significant impact on my life, she thinks it is beneficial to show me some of that now. Honestly, that has been the most healing aspect of my therapy. However, my T has also explained that she is not comfortable using touch with every client who asks for it. She says that, for her, she has to feel personally safe/comfortable with the client, be sure there is no romantic/sexual desire motivating the client's request for touch, and feel that it will be therapeutically beneficial for the client. I think her policy makes a lot of sense. If I ever need to seek out a different T in the future (i.e. if I move or she retires), I would intentionally seek out another T who is comfortable with touch. Of course, for me, it would take me many months of therapy with a T in order for me to feel comfortable receiving touch from them, but it's something I know I would want eventually if I built a strong T-relationship with them. (The first time I asked for touch from my current T was 9 months into therapy).

It seems clear that you want touch from your caseworker/Ts for all of the right reasons-- and I think that is something you have the right to look for when you're seeking out a therapist. I do feel though that every T, caseworker, etc. has the right to decide their own policy around touch. Some people simply don't feel comfortable with touch in general or with anyone outside their immediate family/friends (they may have an abuse history, neglect history, etc). so they make that policy for their own protection. Since touch is a two-way street, both people have to feel fully comfortable in order to use touch. Even for me, while I do feel safe using touch with my T , I do not feel safe touching my co-workers, casual friends, certain family members, or even students crying in my office (I teach at a University). I have been in situations where I know that the other person is very upset and wants physical comfort from me, but it would make me extremely uncomfortable to provide it. It's not that I see the other person as a threat per se, but that, given my own history, touch is not a safe thing for me. Touch only feels safe from a handful of people who have "proven" to be safe over long periods of time. I have friends I do not wish to hug, and one of the worst things they do is try to get me to change my mind. The second I feel my boundary being pressed, it makes things extremely scary. If they keep telling me they want to hug me and they think it would be beneficial for me too, it makes me feel threatened and it's cost me more than one friendship because I wouldn't give in. It has also probably made some of my crying students feel like I don't care-- I do care, but I still don't feel safe hugging a student. It's not because I think hugging students is inherently wrong-- as an undergraduate, I even remember hugging one of my professors who felt like a "big sister" to me. But, at the same time, I'm just not comfortable when the roles are reversed. It really has nothing to do with the person wanting the hug-- it's purely about what my personal boundaries are around my body and touch. I don't know why your caseworker has the boundaries that she does, but it may have nothing to do with professional ethics. It may be that she simply does not like to be touched, or perhaps she has a history of trauma or abuse and touch is not something that is safe for her. She probably does feel care and concern for you, and she probably does want to help comfort you, but touch is just not a way that she feels she can do that.

In this situation, I think you're both right. Your need for touch is legitimate and reasonable and you should have someone around who can provide that for you. At the same time, she has the right to maintain her own personal boundaries. What it sounds like is that she can't offer you what you really need in those moments. I don't know if you have this flexibility, but it sounds like you really need a caseworker, a T, a bodywork/somatic therapist, or some other kind of T who DOES feel comfortable using touch. I think you would continue to benefit from having touch in your therapy (like you did in MA). The struggle seems to be finding that right person. But I do hope that you continue to look and that you find the right T for you.