It sounds to me like you have a lot of understanding and insight into all of it (more than I could). Thanks for sharing about it. I thought it was awful that your caseworker continued in problem solving mode when you started crying. I think it would be good for you if she could give you touch. But who knows if she has some kind of abuse history that makes it too hard for her to touch people. I hope you will find a therapist who will offer you touch again eventually. I'm sure you know this but if it helps any, I thought you have an extremely good attitude about it, especially what you wrote here...

"It's just that there's really nothing I can say or do to change her or anyone else's mind on this. And I want to figure out how to stop feeling disapointed/ hurt about it. I can tell myself to accept it and that it's probably good in the long-term that I learn to emotionally support myself-- and that before my good t in MA I never had this touch from anyone and did ok. Then again back then I wasn't as open to my feelings so nowbeing without it just feels overwhelming. I can tell myself this but feel like crying all the time when thinking about the situation and what I feel I have to accept. So I can change my thinking but not my automatic emotional reaction and was curious your thoughts on that. Perhaps over time it'll just feel better as I get used to doing therapy this way. "

I was thinking that it's true you can't change any particular individual who is strongly against it (at least unlikely, and probably would take a long time and not be a good goal I suppose), but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be good for you to have someone who could give you touch if you could find someone. So, sure, it's good you can learn to emotionally support yourself more, since you haven't got any other choices about the physical touch for now, but just because you don't have it now doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you for needing it. I'm sorry it's hard