Hi Everyone,
Thanks again for such in depth and supportive replies.
Scorpiosis, thanks for your response about how you feel about touch in your own life, and touch in your therapy. I'm glad you and t hug at the end of every session. When I was younger and saw two different talk therapists they were both comfortable with this, which was nice. This is why it really surprised me when the t I saw at the center and my caseworker were unable to do the hugs or any kind of touch. But I know howgood it can feel to have someone right there next to you rubbing your back and stuff when you're that upset so glad you have that in your life, and you and t have built up that level of trust.
I understand about everyone's boundaries being different, and what you and Learning said about the caseworker's not wanting to use touch due to her own history or just personal preference makes sense and is what the t from MA said. Though, I do think that in her mind and perhaps others at the center it does have to do with profesional ethics. She seemed so convinced that she didn't feel comfortable with the touch because what if no one was there and I needed to learn to cope on my own. Even when I said that t in MA and I had had touch and she was teaching me skills she said she didn't feel it was right. I guess everyone has their own take on ethical issues like this which is why they're so controversial.
Unfortunately I don't have much flexibility at all due to financial circumstances. Also as I said before Chicago really doesn't have much in the way of body-centerd somatic therapists. T from MA is an expressive arts/ body centered therapist, as were the other two I saw who were good for me. My apt next week is with an intern who's internship unfortunately ends in MA so we wouldn't have much time together. The center she works at is big on internal family systems and mindfullness, and when I asked the intake coordinator she said there was no hard and fast policy against touch. But this experience has shaken my feelings/ conviction on asking for touch so much that I'm not sure I'll ask her for it.
The other place I'm looking into is the one place in the area that has creative arts therapists. And after an intake would be assigned a therapist, I imagine either drama or dance/movement both of which I believe use touch to some degree. So I'm planning on trying this intern first. Her policy says you have to have six sessions before deciding if therapy is meeting your needs. So I'll do that and then either move on to the creative arts people then, or wait til she leaves in May or something. I'm hoping at some point some more creative type therapists will come to this city.
Thanks Learning1 for the compliment about my good attitude. I'm trying to be positive though it doesn't hurt any less. I'm just hoping as I said over time that I'll feel better about the whole thing as I get stronger in managing my feelings. You've all been so caring and helpful. A