I can't believe how much all of your words of encouragement has made me feel so much better. I have no living family, and my husband pretty much alienated my friends.

He did not want me to work, so I quit my job, (I was a sucessful web designer / graphic artist. It has been 4 years since I worked. I have been married 4 years. I really need to get back to working, not just for financial reasons (I have come close to being homeless during all this) but I was good at what I did, and I miss the rewarding feeling of doing what I loved doing.

I need to muster up the courage as I have lost so much self esteem. My husband last year took all my cloths and piled them up and poured battery acid on them.

I can get work cloths if I really tried, there are places here in Vegas that donate work cloths for women. I just get so scared applying for any job. Before I got married the friends I had use to call me an "alpha female" because I was just so confident and sure of who I was.

I can only imagine what they witnessed as I was taken down.

I basically have shut myself in a room I rented with my dog. I have been able to get by from a few painting I sold. (I am an artist too)

I could not afford professional help at this time because I just get by as it is. But I know I need it. I just cannot wrap my brain around what I have allowed myself to become. The betrayal and crulety was just too over whelming. 4 years ago if you had said this is what would become of me, I would have shook my head and thought you were crazy.

It can happen to anyone, and maybe this is something important for me to have experienced. No matter how strong, or confident a person is, something that is close enough to the persons heart can destroy them if no help or self realization comes along.

The good news is, I have turned off my phone. He is in Virginia and I in Vegas, he cannot confuse and put that power on me now.

I have lost so much of my faith in God also, the strength of my belief system is so low I stopped praying.

I think I will get though this, I just need to find myself again.

Thank you for caring and showing concern, tears are falling down my face as I write this at this moment because I am so touched by your beautiful spirits.

Thank you again,
Jeani