(((((((((((( esthersvirtue )))))))))))))
It shows what a kind person you are that you don't want to hurt your T's feelings.

I know this is an old suggestion.... maybe write her a letter? Then you could phrase things exactly as you need to and be as diplomatic as possible

Sorry you're struggling hon, we care here although I know it isn't the same
PM me if you would like to,
Fuzzy