I understand your reasoning about whether touch should be used by a t as a way of soothing a client rather than encouraging self care etc. I also know what you mean about want vs need. I only have my own experiences to draw on and I think I can self care pretty well most of the time. It's just that when I'm in a certain place I really feel as though I NEED (but am willing to admit it could be a strong want) to have physcial contact in the form of hand holding with t. This doesn't happen all the time but when I have touch it can feel too good as someone else said, and this sends me back into 'wanting it all the time' mode which is obviously unhelpful.

I don't think there's necessarily a mutually exclusive relatonship between touch and self care. I think it's natural to crave touch from another person es well as being able to self care. It depends on where the client is I suppose. If touch is replacing self care then that's obviously a problem. Maybe your reasoning stems from the fact it might have been?

Touch isn't the job of a t, but some do offer it, mine included, because it can be healing in some circumstances. My T is very body orientated anyway as she feels healing is a holistic process, not merely an emotional or mental one. But again, this comes down to what feels right for t and client.

Best of luck with your t and life journey.