My best sessions are when I have an agenda and I start off with what I've been thinking about or a struggle I am currently facing. I don't know if this is because I like to be in control or because I feel more productive about therapy if I have something I want to deal with and if I don't, I'm avoiding it. So I try to go in and say what I want to start with, although conversation might morph in another way.

Sometimes if I am quiet in the beginning, T will ask a very open question, like how have I been feeling. This might be designed to help me talk, but it doesn't really. The only thing that helps me is to say what I've come to say. When I don't make the effort to do this, sessions are less productive for me. The confound is when I get consumed by anxiety or am distressed, I want to avoid the stuff that is important for me to work on. T occasionally says "Is there something we should be talking about that we're not?" but I demonstrate the answer by avoiding an answer to his question. Sometimes I have asked T to ask me a question, but he'll say that nothing comes to mind. Sneaky that way.

For me, leading the agenda is the only way I can get things done. I know that sometimes I feel I want T to help me, and although I don't think there's anything wrong with it, it doesn't work for me. If I don't make the effort to say what it is I need to address, then I usually have a session where I'm obstinate and otherwise not cooperative with whatever T puts out there.