Oh and I have one last word and I'm done. It seems to me that lying and downplaying our emotions or situation, for me at least are two separate things. When Sweet Surrender, you say you lie, do you mean you didn't tell her something that actually happened, or said no to something that you did... etc? I ask because I need clarification. I don't think that minimizing an event is lying so much as it is being in denial much of the time. I wouldn't call someone in this mode, a liar at all.

Now if she asked if you did yoru homework and you didn't but you tell her yes, that to me is lying.

And to the idea that not being forthcoming with your true feelings? This is not unique to BPD, it's just exaggerated sometimes. I mean people of all walks of life aren't always expressing their true feelings, personality disorder or not. In our exaggerated or over inflated view of everything... its just that someone with BPD feels, sees, hears everything more intensely, so if you downplay your emotions or hide them, you not only do so more profoundly but your feeling that you're doing something wrong because of it is also amplified. So my thought on this is that it's ok to keep your emotions hidden or turned down! Part of that is self preservation and protecting yourself. It's perfectly natural within reason, and sometimes even a good thing to do.