I just saw this post today, or I would have replied sooner. I am sorry you are going through this right now. You can post more here when you feel comfortable; everyone is really supportive...I hope you find the help you need; it sounds like you want it.

No one else in my "real Life" world knows I am how I am, so I know what you mean. At least here, you are not alone. Please keep posting. and Welcome to PC...