I was informed by my psychiatrist who I have talk therapy with weekly and it has been a year now, that I have slide way backwards and that she can't help me it will take years.

That I need to go back to the intensive dbt program that I left 7 weeks into a 15 week program in the fall.

Well it is not sitting well with me. My anger is off the charts has been off the chart for over a week. To the point that the other day on the bus I was ready to punch someone in the f ing face if they looked at me wrong!

I left the program in the fall, or I should say I "RAN like all hell way." When I left my pdoc said there are others ways to get from point A to B, well now she is contradicting herself.

Several weeks ago she said my getting my driving license back was coming soon, that she was seeing enough progress and that I was more stable. Now she told me I won't get my license back unless I go back to the program!

Needless to say I am under a lot of distress and I know that this anger that is bubbling under the surface is fear based. I did learn some things in the dbt program when I was there but it was bringing up things I guess I am not ready to face.

I did call the personality disorder service that offers the intensive dbt program and I had to answer questions but they may not have liked the fact that I was so honest either. That my pdoc says she can't help me and that I am afraid that she is going to drop me as a client. I did say I needed the intensive program but that I am terrified of coming back.

What a mess and to make matters worse have gotten drunk two weeks in a row, in order to get rid of this intense emotions.