I must have stopped crying over my issues after many people got angry with me for crying---and also when someone I really cared about told me that I was "just seeking attention".

I learned not to cry.

Now, I think ppl think I am okay when I am not. It's interesting that you say you are afraid that people think you are making it up when you don't act emotional. I experienced something different: Being emotional just made everyone around me disgusted and they wanted to avoid me. So I learned not to act emotional, even when I was sharing horrible stuff. In fact, one day, I was talking about something that happened with my abuser and laughing about it; it was funny to me, then. And the person that I was talking to said, "Carol, it's NOT FUNNY. Why are you LAUGHING about this?! You went thru something terrible."

Yes, I learned to laugh at trouble, but maybe to a point where I could not even experience appropriate emotions anymore.

I lived in an environment where it was okay to be happy but if you were sad or angry, forget it. No one was going to deal with you.

Carol