I got up today and did my work, incl. the new piece of my program about purpose. (if you want to know, it's in my social group) The day seemed longer because it was a half hour longer on my schedule. Ani and were stumbling along, trying to keep our time organized. it went well.

I am kind of run down, a cold is trying to start again.

I did not go to the meeting today; did not feel too good about it after yesterday's experience.

I am going to another women's group tonight instead.

Ani instructed me to go to just women's groups for a while until I feel a little better. The group I have been attending has become predominantly male, and therefore less empathetic (I know males are empathetic, but the ones I have been dealing with lately still are not) and I need more female influence, esp after losing my primary female figure, my aunt. Ani, although very empathetic, is still a man and he recognizes my need for female companionship and connection. He also thinks I will make more friends if I associate more with women. My bpd seems to feed on gravitating too much toward the opposite sex.

anyway...

It has been a while, too, since Arvind and I have decided to just be friends.

I feel like I am in withdrawal from being a romantic/sexual-love junkie.

Carol