I thought my issues were from being Italian. But in the past several years I've been able to talk to my aunts (also ItalIan) without my mother around, and was able to see it's not about being Italian. Separating from your parents when it involves rejecting certain limitations, shall we call them?, is very guilt-inducing and very difficult. But you can't hold yourself back. Your family won't respect you for it. Only if it were natural for you to do so.